When life hands you lemons... kick it in the nuts.

 

I don't know what it has been about this week.
It was one of those weeks where everything was planned back to back and any time I had to just sit and relax was spent on the phone or computer for work.
I've found that even in the time I think I can get a little mid afternoon snoozer in, my mind is racing through the things I should be doing and I can't relax, so I just keep on doing.
Even on the slower days I can't seem to shake the feeling of being overwhelmed, spread thin, and pre-occupied.

 

I spent the night last night watching Benny and Joon and finishing up my sister's birthday present while David and the kids slept.
It was quiet.

It was calm.
It was a much needed break.
I felt my heart rate slow down, the knots in my stomach melt, and my mind focus on something other than the chaos from the week.

Life can be hectic.
Sometimes life can be down right messy.
It can be unpredictable and scary and at times darn near impossible to live...
BUT
It's beautiful.

Somewhere mixed in the craziness are millions of blessings.

Brodey telling me that he plans on naming his kids after each of the Wiggles, when he grows up.
Saiya stopping to tell me she loves me randomly throughout the day.
The pot of coffee that my husband makes for me in the mornings before he leaves for work because he knows I'm going to need it.
Watching the kids play house together as they swing, feed, and care for Saiya's babydolls.
Seeing Brodey's toy hamsters lined up right under the television after I've returned home from dropping him off at school.
Sleeping under my favorite quilts.
My cat LaLa climbing her way under the covers and curling up at the back of my legs.
My cat Jemma curling around my neck.
My cat Steve.... well... I'm sure there's a blessing somewhere with her when she isn't eating and puking up things she shouldn't be eating.. like scotch tape..... and ribbon.
Soft yarn to make endless creations.
Reading books to my kiddos instead of watching tv before bedtime.
Having a live-in knitting partner (ahem.. a man...that I'm married to.  Hell totally must have froze over) to watch a couple of episodes of Bones with at night.
Random text messages from friends that found a funny picture and thought of me to share it with.
Play dates with my sister and nephew, accompanied by coffee for us moms.

Running errands with my mom just for the sake of being together.
Old forgotten movies on Netflix.
Learning new things in the areas that I'm passionate about.
Hugs from residents at my first week of clinicals in Assisted Living.
Text messaging my Grandma. (She's in her 80's and text messages. I think that's pretty badawesome)
Looking around my home and seeing my walls covered in memories and those I love.

How about...
The fact that I have a cozy home that keeps us warm and dry.
The fact that we don't struggle with chronic illness or pain.
The fact that we have food in our bellies every single day.
The fact that we have clothes and shoes that fit and are in great condition.

I sit back and I look at my life compared to others and I really don't have it that bad.
I'm tremendously blessed...

I know the truth.

The truth is that I am one blessed lady.

Finances have been a struggle because of an inner company position change that my husband took and medical bills that we've been working to pay off that just so happened to have payment land in the same week.  And here I am planning on how to play catch up.

My Property Management job had me stressed more than I think I have ever been with it.

 

So many things to do and not enough time to do them.
So many deadlines. 

One of my closest friend's sons started chemo this week in preparation for a bone marrow transplant in hopes to save his life from an autoimmune disease that he's suffered from since he was an infant.
Read her story here: Amandaandthehendersons.blogspot.com
My heart has been heavy.
I've been praying like crazy.
And I (as well as thousands of people) are continuing to hope that he'll come out on the other end healthy and healed.
(my stress really feels like nothing compared to my friend's)

And yet I am still reminded that a grateful heart is a joyful heart.
Even in the times I don't feel like being grateful...
Even in the times when I really don't feel joyful...
I know that no good comes from self-entitlement and being self absorbed in how I think things should be going.

 

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."
Psalm 126:3

 

"Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Jesus Christ."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Give thanks to the Lord for he is good; His faithful love endures forever."
1 Chronicles 16:24

I'm thinking it's time I chill and refocus.
Time to handover to God the things that I can't control, ask him to provide me with the discernment and guidance on the things I can control, and to continuously pray and give him praise.

Be in prayer.
Trust in God.
And
Be thankful.

 

God, I thank you for your faithfulness.
I thank you for your always working hands,

for your never ending patience with me,

and your overflowing love.
I love you.

 

 

 



Finding Caren



My Mom once gave me an embroidered pillow that said

"Dreams have no expiration date"

 

I graduated from high school in 2004 and had every intention on going to college.
By the time it was fall and class registration was happening, I rushed to the college to sign up for classes but there was so much that I didn't do to prepare, that I decided to hold off until the following semester.

And I put it off again.

 

And again.

I got pregnant with my beautiful little boy by the time I was 20 and gave birth to him when I was 21 yrs old.
I worked full time at a call center and through that job I provided health insurance for my family.
The call center closed and I was laid off from my job in 2010 when I was 8 months pregnant with my 2nd child.
My beautiful daughter was born.
We struggled with medical debt after that and so between having two children, an extremely tight budget, and a part time job that eventually occurred, I couldn't justify going to school.

I've spent the last few years of my life raising two beautiful children,
finding my creativity in knitting,
finding my playfulness in hula hooping,
and working part time jobs that have allowed me stay home and invest into my family.
I have been so incredibly blessed and still am.

But I'm in a different place in my life.
I'm in a place in my life where I have realized that there will never be a convenient time in my life for an education and with that frame of mind I've pursued schooling with the help and support of my friends and family.

 

 

I am currently in school to become a Certified Nursing Assistant!

 

 

There are so many different perspectives on this particular job.
I've heard the term "professional butt wiper" a few times and I'm fine with that.
It is what it is but there is so much more to it.

It's care giving to people who are in ways incapable of doing basic, every day things for themselves.
And it's not just assisting in the every day things but It's also encouraging and promoting people to maintain their independence in a time that they may feel their most dependent.
It's supporting an individual in a time of change.
It's about being a persons advocate.
It's about loving that person where they are at in their life and making it as easy and enjoyable as possible.
It's about being their companion and showing them that they are more than just a job but are also a person with value.
Not old.
Not disabled.
Not incapable.
But a person worth caring about.

A person worth my respect.
A person worth my time to help them do the things to maintain a quality of life.

 



It's been said that we have been called to be the hands and feet of Jesus.
To serve.
Even those that seem to be unlovely, unloving, and unlovable.
(Don't we all have that capability? You should see how grumpy I am before my first cup of coffee in the morning.)

 I guess you can say that I've taken that quite literal.
I'll be the legs and feet, and arms and hands for those who struggle to use theirs on a daily basis.
At times I may be their ears and their voice.
I'll be one of the most consistent and supportive persons in their life.
And there are many out there that are and will be the same.

There is such high demand for this profession and unfortunately CNA's are moving on just as fast as they are coming in.
BUT
I'm going to give this my all and I pray that this will be a stepping stone in the medical field for further progression. 

 

So far I've completed 4 weeks of schooling and will be doing my clinicals soon.
We'll be going into an assisted living home, nursing home, and possibly a hospital where we can use the skills we have learned and get some experience under our belts.
I'm hoping to get into the Alzheimer's unit at the nursing home but am still uncertain where I'd like to work.

 

Please be in prayer with me.
Please pray that God's directive is clear in where he wants to place me in this career.
There are so many opportunities and I trust that he will put me exactly where I need to be. 

 

I hope you all are enjoying your week so far!

Be blessed!

 

-C

I Call It Home

My home has been super cozy these days.
Maybe someday I will do a virtual tour.
It isn't anything super special and it's a rental so we are limited in what we can do but for a 3 bedroom, basement apartment, I finally feel like it's a place I can enjoy.
We moved into it just shy of 4 years ago.
At the time our son was 2 and just 2 months after moving in we found out that we were expecting another little baby.

This home has many memories.

Countless naps in cozy beds.
Bringing home our daughter.

Pictures of Brodey posing in his new school clothes and backpack before he heads off to his first day of school.
Family Dance Parties
Countless birthday celebrations.
Holidays.
Dinner with friends.
Coffee with family.
Knit nights.

 

It's a home.
It's our home.

and our home needed change.

I've taken some time to do small home improvements by knitting a few small flag buntings, creating yarn flowers, stringing tassels, and painting old furniture. 
Unfortunately I don't have all of my pictures uploaded of all the things that I have made but I thought I could at least share with you what I do have right now. 

 I'm not a big fan of painting but I decided that this microwave cart needed a splash of teal.
It also needed to be microwaveless and be used for something else.
So I slapped 3 coats of paint on it, waited for what felt like forever for it to dry, and put all of my tasty coffees, teas, and cocoas on it and in it.
I also have my planner on it where I don't just write my appointments but all of the family's.
Though not pictured, there are now curtains on the windows above it.

 

I've been pretty big on flag buntings lately.
These are the two I have hanging in my kitchen.
I also have one hanging between my living room and dining room, bedroom, and office area.
Yeah.
It might be bunting overkill but I'm okay with that.
I plan on making more. HA!

 

Walls have been painted in my home with the help of my hubby,
Furniture has been moved from one room to another and have been re purposed.

Quilts have been thrifted and put on our bed.
Handmade accents hung and placed for personalization.
Pictures have been moved to compliment each room.

A 2nd hand café table was purchased to make our kitchen more of a gathering place.
Curtains have been hung for warmth.
Organization has come into play.... kind of.... here and there...
Toys are now in their rightful spot which would be the kids' bedrooms and not a corner in my living room.
My office area is now a functional place for me to do my work.
And I can honestly say that there is not a room here that I don't enjoy being in.
It just feels good

and
I love it.

It may not be a big home, new home, or a perfect home,

BUT

It's my home and I am so thankful to have it and embrace it because it is a blessing.
I'm just thankful to have one.
A warm one.
A cozy one.
And one to continue to build memories in,

I know that I have not been blogging much and I've come to be okay with that.
It's just where I'm at in life.
My life is busy and at times messy.
It may keep me from writing but you can guarantee that I'll return.
It's just a matter of when.
I hope to get better at keeping up though.

One thing that has been keeping me busy is my CNA course.
I'm so excited to share with you about it and where I envision me going with it but I'll save that for another post.

Time to bed down and enjoy some "Bones".

 

Blessings,

-C