20 Things

I've done this once before and it's been some time, but decided to follow suit of a blogger that I follow and do it again. 
It's always fun to read about other peoples quirks, hangups, and preferences.
I don't know why but it is.
We are all individuals and though some of us have similarities...
We are still all unique.

Here are 20 things about me.

 

1

Aside from the common pet peeve of people who chew their food and gum insanely loud...
I hate the sound of buttering toast.
A snow shovel on cement is a close 2nd.
That sound to me is like nails down a chalk board and it's been that way since I was a little girl.
If your looking for a way to make me crawl out of my skin...
There ya go.

 

2

I don't believe I actually have one favorite color.
I have a tendency to hop and no one in my family can really seem to keep track.
Was blue, then red, then pink, then purple...

Now I'm pretty sure it's teal even though my yarn choices have been gravitating towards pink again. 
Ask me next week and I may have more of a definite answer...
but for now my favorite color is... Rainbow

 

 

3
I've always claimed to love scary movies and I do but at the same time I don't.
Demon possession and violent ghost movies scare the crap out of me and especially when children are involved.
I avoid those at all cost.
I get extreme anxiety around those and I think it's because I'm a mom of 2 and I have a hard time disconnecting from the characters... even if they aren't my children and its fiction.
But what's worse is if its a movie based on the supposed actual, real life, events.
No thank you.
Don't really think I'm a fan of scary movies after all.

4
I'm a sucker for movies like "High School Musical".

I'm pretty sure a part of me stopped maturing past junior high because I love those Disney Channel movies that are clearly aimed towards girls that are 15 yrs younger than me.
Now that Zac Effron is a little older I don't feel so bad for thinking he is cute.  My teenage me and my adult me had a moral conflict so I'm glad that has passed.
Teen drama is usually what I'm drawn to on Netflix,
I seriously don't know what's wrong with me.

 

 

5

I still love the boy group Hanson.
17 years later and MmmBop is still fresh in my head.
Granted they have newer tracks but my heart will always belong to those long haired, roller bladers that had many of us stumped if they were guys or girls when that music video first came out. 
I think it's pretty cool that they are all married and have kids now but still continue to tour.
I dream to see them in concert sometime. :)
I plan on wearing the Hanson shirt that my grandma got me when I was 12.
Yes it still fits.

6

I am incredibly far sighted.
I've had glasses since I was 9 and contacts since I was 12 and seriously can't read anything without them.
I also have astigmatism so even with things held far from my face, I still can't focus on what I'm seeing.
You'll rarely see me in glasses because the lenses are so thick and my eyes look HUGE.
Seriously.
It's comical.

 

7

I suffered from a MS like attack when I was 15 yrs old.
They called it Transverse Myelitis.
It's been described as the prelude to MS but a recurrence is rare.
I'd lost feeling from hip down on my right side and mid ribcage down on my left side.
MRI and spinal tap results showed nothing.
Chiropractic work had to be done to realign my hips and decompress the vertebrates in my lower back due to injury from my inability to properly walk or turn.
I wasn't allowed to sit as part of my treatment. 
Only stand or lay down.
I wasn't allowed to shiver or chill so I had a space heater in the bathroom for when I got out of the shower.

Pretty freaky right?!
Looking back at that now, I can't believe that happened.

 

8
I've only had one broken bone in my life which was my radius, right below my elbow, on my left arm.
I fell while getting off a trampoline to kiss the neighbor boy on the cheek.
Yup.
Wasn't doing anything cool or special.... Just trying to get my clumsy self off of the stupid thing and tumbled right over.
Maybe I should tell people that I beat Chuck Norris at a back flip competition and he retaliated.
That sounds much cooler.

9

I learned how to tie my roller skates before I learned how to tie my shoes.
I went to daycare at a roller rink and have been skating since I was 3 yrs old.
I still often times dream of that roller rink and when I do, I'm usually some awesome skater that is fluttering across the rink, doing triple axles and what not.
I'm not that good but I can at least stay upright.

 

10
I use to sleep with this scrap of fabric that once was a tiny pillow.
I was the only one that could smell this special smell of it and would fall asleep at night with it up to my nose.
My husband had me put it away when I was 21 yrs old.
It's in my sock drawer and every once in a while I'll pull it out to see if it still had that special smell.
It doesn't which is probably a good thing or I'd sneak it into bed at age 28.

11
I have a total of 13 tattoos.
Most of them are easily covered and a couple are too small to really notice.
I've got a vine cross on my foot.
Music note with wings on my right hip.
tiny cross on my left ring finger.
treble cleft on my right wrist.
bass clef on my left.
Sleeping baby bunny with to daisies on the inside of my right forearm
The Scream on my upper left arm and shoulder.
1 Corinthian 13;4-7 in a spiral on my right shoulder.
"K2TOG" in tiny red letters on my right collar bone.
A daisy on the back of my neck.
Psalm 139 on my right shoulder blade.
My son's footprint and name on my left shoulder blade.
My daughter's footprint and name below my son's.
I would very much like to get more but I am very particular...
after all, it's going to be on my body forever so I better make sure that it has meaning and placed properly.

12
I absolutely love Mother's Day.
I think I look forward to do that day more than my birthday.
It's the one day a year that I get to share and celebrate with my mom and sister.
It's a day recognizing the hard work I put into my children day in and day out.
And now that I'm a mom, it is a day when I can show my mom just how thankful I am for the things she did for me when I was little.
It's hard work being a parent and it's definitely something worth celebrating over.

13
Id have Christmas lights hung in my home all year round if I could.
Unfortunately my husband does not find them to be near as magical as I do and I respect the fact that this is his home too enough to take them down after Christmas.

14
I once sang in Carnegie Hall when I was 18 with my High School choir.
The top 7 high school choirs in the US were chosen to learn the same music and meet in NYC for a concert.
One of the coolest experiences of my life.

15
I am quite fond of thrift stores.
I usually go in them when I have something in mind though otherwise I end up purchasing things I really don't need.
I have found beautiful quilts,
a cafe table for our kitchen (actually that was my husbands find),
picture frames for refurbishing and re purposing,
vases,
beautiful Pyrex,
and my favorite pair of sunglasses among other things.

16
 I'll share something a little embarrassing here...
I found out a few months ago that Pickles were actually cucumbers.
I had just assumed that Pickles were a thing of their own because on the container it says "Pickles".
Not pickled cucumbers.
and why would I think to look at the ingredients because, hey, the container says that they are pickles.
And yet so many people have learned this when they were little and some how I missed that tidbit of information.
You could imagine the mind blow I had when I asked my husband about pickle juice and if he thought they juiced pickles to get juice to put in the jar with the pickles.
Not my proudest moment but hey... whatever.

17
Every year on Christmas day my husband and I eat at a truck stop restaurant right off the interstate.
Our first Christmas together was spent there late night after a day of movie watching and spending time with family.
We have made it a tradition and though it does not sound like much of a tradition...
It is for us and one of my favorites.

18
I had braces when I was younger to correct an over bite and straighten out some crowded teeth.
It's been 11 years since I got them off and I still wear my retainers to bed.
Braces aren't cheap and I enjoy my straight teeth so I'll wear them for the rest of my life if I have to.

19
I'm allergic to cats and yet I still own 3 of them.
I just can't touch my eyes after petting them and keep their kitty kisses to a minimum.

20
I've always thought of myself as socially awkward.
I have a hard time socializing with a group of people I do not know and so it takes effort for me to engage.
I think some of that is based off of a fear of rejection or maybe insecurity or something stupid like that.
I look different compared to some of the people I'm surrounded by, don't have fancy clothes, metal shoved in my face, and am usually accompanied by two tiny people that become quite the distraction.
When I start feeling comfortable you may find that I have a dry sense of humor that somehow comes off as witty, have some what inappropriate jokes, and occasionally struggle with volume control.
But I'm genuine and a loyal friend.


Well I did it.
It was actually really hard for me to think of 20 things to share.
you'd expect that it would be super easy to talk about yourself like this but for me it was incredibly time consuming and thought provoking.
If you have a blog and decide to do this...
please comment on this blog with where I can read yours. :)

Hope your week is splendorful so far!

-Caren



 

 

Confessions of an almost CNA

 

 

 

 

I have just one more day in the nursing home and then I will test out of my class.
I can't believe that I started this journey two months ago and its coming to end. 

 

My first two weeks of clinics were spent in Assisted living.
My first night there I spent it in the Memory Care Unit.
All of these people suffer from Alzheimer's.

The group was fairly small which made it easier to spend time with them.
The first hour was spent assisting with dinner, clearing plates, and with one particular resident, checking her pockets to make sure she didn't sneak any silverware.
I observed many in the first few minutes that I was there...
Soaking in what I had been prepared for...
Listened to how the residents talked and how they were responded to....
Processing how I fit into this picture and what I could do within my limits legally...

I learned a lot about my residents in such a short time.

A is in her 70's and believes she has 39 babies. 
While helping her with her shower she had informed me that she had just been to the doctor and was told that she was pregnant.  She just couldn't believe that she was going to have another baby.
It was a battle of our own to actually get her into the shower because she believed that there was soldier standing outside waiting for her to let him in so he could tell her that her two sons had died in war.
We had to solute him before we could go anywhere and so we did.
I want to know more about her.
How many kids does she have?
Did her sons really serve?

Are they alive?
And she talked so much about working.
She took authority in her relationship with her husband as she talked about how he last his job and how she was forced to go back to work full time that day while still having to care for all of those babies...

D is probably one of the sweetest ladies I have ever encountered.
She spends a lot of time in her room, aside from meal time, and any time I came close to her door she was always quick to invite me in.
The first night that I was there she cried so often...
It broke my heart as we got her ready for bed and tucked her in.
She sobbed as we shut her door and from what I was told, that was part of the nightly routine.
When she was brought into the unit her husband had opened the door, shoved her in, and shut the door behind her and they believe that has a lot to do with it.  If she actually remembers that event...  they aren't sure but emotions tend to stick and anytime she feels uncertain, confused, or scared she will cry.
They believe that event is the root of it.

I considered it a victory when I got her to bed my 2nd night in that unit and she didn't cry as I tucked her in.
She couldn't remember the people in the picture frame on her wall but was pretty sure they were people she knew at one point.
One of those pictures was one of her when she was younger and the beauty from back then reflects in her now and I just love her.


M showed me the party dress she made and at one point wore.
That was one proud lady...
and I have to mention that she is 100 yrs old.
This dress was absolutely beautiful.
A fleshy Mauve toned satin, sleeveless, boat neck, above the knee piece of art that was draped in beautiful lace and was embellished with a brown strand of ribbon to secure around the waist.
I saw it a handful of times and every time like it was the first time.
I was just amazed every time.
We sat down for a movie together and she asked me "Finding anything appealing to this movie yet because I sure as hell am not." HA!
Clearly she is a lady that knows what she likes and what she doesn't.

 

S couldn't ever remember which room belonged to her.
After about 15 minutes of redirecting her she finally walked into it and said "This better be my room because THIS is my chair."

Just as soon as she walked out of her room she couldn't remember which one was hers again.

 These people live in their own world and for a lot of them its in a world before even their own children would know them.
Many of them asked where their parents were...
Asked if we could call them...
Asked when their parents would be back...
And we played along...
Imagine what it would have been like to believe that your parents were alive and then you had someone tell you that they were dead.
Pretty sucky right?
So we would tell them that they were out on a date or running errands...
We tried calling them but they were unable to come to the phone but would call back later...
They would be home later on in the evening or the next day...
And they accepted those answers..
And then forget.

We never told them that the people that they saw didn't exist.
We never told them that what they believed they heard wasn't real.
We never told them that they didn't have 39 babies, or that they had no reason to cry, or that they had already shown me their dress.
We never told them that their parents had died along time ago and that they were never coming back.
We took part in their world and instead of trying to convince them out of it... we became a part of it and did all that we could to help them feel secure in it.

This last week I was in the memory care unit at a nursing home.
These people were a lot less self reliant.
Mechanical lifts were used,
Briefs were changed,
wipes were used,
(ok now I've just got to say that changing an adult is far more stinkier than changing a baby and those rooms are not big enough, nor are they ventilated well enough to accommodate the stank.)

showers were given more so than they were assisted,
and at a small table of four women...
they were fed.

Within seconds of walking in, I was seated next to this lady that was wheelchair bound, unable to speak, and unable to feed herself.
It was my responsibility to feed and drink her.
I felt so sad and not because of where this lady was at in her life but because of the few hands that were there to help.
They were so short handed and clearly those who had been working see it as such...
Work.
I spoke to this lady knowing that I wouldn't be able to hold a conversation with her but seeing a nod or a smile was confirmation enough that she was enjoying it.
Occasionally she would start to speak and repeat it over and over and over again.
I finally pulled a CNA over that worked there and asked what she was saying.
She told me that she was counting....
this lady that I was feeding use to be an accountant. 
It made sense. :)

I felt so much more overwhelmed in the nursing home than in assisted living.
My time with the residents seemed so short.
There were so many residents and not enough CNA's.
As soon as we were done with one, we were out and off to get another one ready for bed.

It became more apparent to me that I'm not into this for the medical aspect of it...
I'm into it more for the relational aspect of it.
I want to be there to not only insist in their physical needs but their emotional and mental as well and I did not feel like that was accomplished very well at the nursing home.
Not because I didn't want that but because everything moved so fast and for the CNAs that I was following it was more about getting it done and getting out.
I pray that is not me in a couple of years and that the facility that I end up in is better staffed to allow better care.

I fear of burnout but I am confident that if I'm placed in the right facility, that will not happen.

All the CNAs that I spoke with pretty much said the same thing...
It's hard work and there will be days that feel overwhelming but all it takes is one resident saying something kind to you...

 that lets you know that you're doing something right...

and it's all worth it.

 

So far...
All of this hard work...
It's worth it.

 

Praying you all have a blessed weekend.

 

-C