Longwindedpicturelssness

Behold!  A pictureless post!  I know... boring right?  I tried.  I really did but I seem to be having some issues getting things loaded today.  Don't really have the time or patience and felt like I needed to check in.  Here has been what's happening as of late. 

As of late my husband has been waiting to hear on a new job.  Stressful much?  He has been hired with a particular company but the hiring process is taking incredibly long and in addition to that will place major change in the Willy Family household. 

This job will take him out of town often which means I will be home with our babies trying to help them adjust to the new norm while I try to adjust to the new norm.  The pay will be less than what he makes now but there is room to move up within the company and will receive frequent raises within his first year and not to mention we will all have health insurance, which will be the first in almost 2 years.

I really am blessed and am so thankful that the opportunity has arised for David to move into a different profession and be happy but honestly I'm freaking out a bit.  What if this isn't the right job?  What if this isn't God's will?  How will our finances look?  How will the kids do with this?  How will I do?  How will I do with the kids?  How will this limit my ability to work AND have a social life?  How is it going to change our relationship?  Is it going to change anything?  How long is it going to be till he gets on a set schedule? I mean all of these questions just flood my head and yet I don't feel like I have the answers to any of them.  I just keep reminding myself that God has our back and that ultimately he will provide.  He hasn't failed us yet and I don't believe he ever will.  It just gets hard sometimes not knowing where this road will take us.  But yet again I keep falling back on "trust in God" because sometimes that's all you can do.  He will provide the answers.  I guess I just need to chill out long enough to hear them or sit tight long enough to allow things to happen.  I'm sure you'll be hearing more about this.  
I'll be starting a new beginners knitting class series in June.  It's been a while since I've taught anything at my LYS but am excited to dig back in. 

There is just something about teaching people about this art form.  It's therapy, a form of expression, a way to make waiting much more enjoyable, and a way of bonding with other's who knit and share in the joy.  Knitting is it's own community that's always looking for new people to join.  It even has it's own language!  An example of that:

Charlotte (my lovely friend) and I were finishing up at a meeting we were both in and as she was getting ready to leave I was tellng her about a hat that I wanted to make.  "You use a provisional cast on, knit flat, and use wrap and turns for shaping".   One of the ladies that was there with us said "Clearly this is a language of its own because I have no idea what you're talking about."  HAHA!  It's true and I felt awesome! I felt accomplished. 

Brodey's last day of Preschool was yesterday.  I'm not an emotional person.  I go through the motions of every day life and when it comes to being a mother I focus so much on what's next that sometimes I don't stop to really enjoy the now.  It just feels like the school year flew by and though I knew the end was coming, I didn't even think about it... until I was forced to.  

My little boy will be starting Kindergarten in the fall and will be attending a public school which at this time is causing some uneasiness.  I think about the unfairness and cruelty of this world. I think about the perversion and the worldly views that will eventually confront my son and it terrifies me.  I think about the obsticals he faces and the fear of what his peer relationships will be like. Will he be bullied?  Will he bully? Will he make friends that influence good choices? 
As a mom I just want to hold him tight and never let him go!  I want to protect him!  I want to speak into him nothing but kind and loving words and gaurd him from any malice that comes his way.  I grieve at the loss of innocense and often times it is taken for granted and not appreciated the way it should be. The loss of that scares me. The fear and grief isn't in him growing up.  The fear is in the pain that comes with it.  My heart breaks when his does.  His pain is my own.  He is the most vulnerable part of me, living on the outside of my body and yet holds my heart.  We will get through this because we have no choice.  I can either choose to be in fear of life or I can choose to live it.  I can choose to allow Brodey to experience it regardless of the endless possibilities of what could happen.    I just pray for God's guidance as we continue to raise this little boy and help guide him into a relationship with his creator.  It's Brodey agains the world and the thing that he has going for him is a God that loves him and has provided him with an incredible support system that is fighting and pulling for him all the way.   We are so blessed in this mess called life.

Well I guess I will stop with all this deep thinking and seriousness.  Thought you deserved a good, real read considering I have no pictures to provide you with this time around.  haha!