I am here

Hello?  Anyone still out there?  It's me...

My last post was made 2/18/15 and I'm pretty sure that when I wrote it, I had intended on actually posting regularly.  I think I made some kind of comment that said "consider this my first journal entry".   Turned out really well....  HA!

My life is not what it was and no where I thought it was going to be by this time in my life.  How can anyone simply sum up the happenings of the last 4 1/2 years?  I don't know that it is possible.  I don't know that I would even want to, to be honest. 

My family wasn't what I thought it was going to be. 
My relationship with God wasn't what I thought it was going to be. 
My professional life wasn't what I thought it was going to be. 
My home....
My church....
My friends....

Had you asked me what I thought about my future when I wrote my last blog post, I would have given you some kind of answer that doesn't even slightly resemble what I've experienced over the last few years.  I just knew in that time of my life, I had no idea who I actually was. I have spent more time since that last post finding out and in the most uncomfortable of ways at times. 

My family has grown and has been redefined.  Had some losses and had some gains. 
My relationship with God is not my religion any longer and is something that I actually experience because I pulled God out of the box.
My professional life provided some challenges. Took some unsuspecting turns and gave me growth.
My home is secure, full, and safe.
My church is NOT church as usual where I am loved for who I am and not how I perform.
My friends have come and gone but I have the ones I need, right now. 

I have learned that I have had to unlearn some things and relearn others. I have learned that I am more human than I thought but unlike other humans I know.  I have learned that I am not who I thought I was and not who I was told I was.  I have had to learn my identity IN CHRIST to really understand who I am on earth.  I'm not who you think I am and better than you thought I was.

I am here.
Thank. God. That I am.