Christmas Recap

Christmas is finally done in our home.  And by done I mean I've packed up all of the decorations and put them away in storage. 

Toys have finally migrated their way to the proper rooms, trash bags and boxes are out, and our home is looking a lot less cluttered.

It seems that it takes a couple of weeks to catch up on sleep after the holidays. Between preparing, enjoying time with family, and playing with new gadgets, it's hard to catch up but I can't really complain.  

This Christmas was a blessed one.

Spent with my favorite kiddos :)

Reading Stories...

...And just being together.

We played with new toys in our new pajamas....

...and took plenty of naps.

We said goodbye to Patrick the Elf before he returned back to the North Pole.  It was bitter sweet.  I've really enjoyed my time with Patrick and enjoyed even more how the kids looked for him every morning.

Patrick really out did it this year.  Next year may pose as a challenge for him. Haha!

We had a bit of a gift scare and had one sad little boy when he opened his Nintendo 2DS and we found that it had been removed from the box before our purchasing. 

 I saw the tears build in his eyes and disappointment take shape in his frown.  We told him that we would go to the store the next morning and get him one.  He said "it's ok.  I can be flexible".  My heart melted.  Clearly he was sad but hearing those words just confirmed that he deserved it.

I looked and looked for the receipt and could find it NOWHERE.  I even dug through the trash on the off chance I threw it out with the Walmart bag and still found nothing. I knew I had put it in my purse and I figured that either I moved it and forgot that I had, or the sticky fingers of a daughter that I have pulled it out in her search for Mommy's gum and lipstick.

We felt anxiety.  Were we going to have to pay for another one? Was Walmart going to think that we were trying to con them?  Were we crap out of luck because I lost the receipt?

The next morning our Christmas miracle happened.  

Brodey got his 2DS!

Walmart was made aware of a distributor issue where hundreds of electronics had gone missing and wasn't made aware until customers were returning to the store with empty boxes.  We were one of those customers and they showed us mercy.  I am so thankful!!!! 

 I was one hurting momma to one sad little boy and I am so glad that we could make if right.

(Thank you God for making it right)

Despite that Christmas hiccup... 

It was a blessed Christmas.

So as we put Christmas behind us we are still reminded of the true gift that was given... Jesus.  

And as I look toward the New Year that is just around the corner, I can't wait to see what that gift has in store for us.  

I can't expect perfection for 2014 but I know I can expect more blessings.

Praying you all had a wonderful Christmas and that you all have a spectacular new year.

-C

Traditions

If you know me well then you know that I am usually knitting for my family right up to Christmas Eve.  Usually up to an hour or two before we get together with family. However I am ahead of schedule and it feels awesome!  

I even have time to knit Brodey and Saiya Christmas ornaments this year which will be the first ever.   I usually go to a cool little place here in town to paint them one and have done it every year since Brodeys first Christmas.  

I decided that the tradition is not just limited to pottery but in general, is the simple gift from mother to child.  Another ornament, made special by mom to hang on the tree.  And when they grow up and have their own tree, they will have some of their mothers love hanging off of it.  

We don't have many traditions in this family but the ones we do have fill my heart with total joy.  Not just because they are "fun" but because they come from the love of our family and celebrating it.  

-Ornaments from me to the kids

-Truck stop Christmas meal

-A new pair of pajamas and stuffed animal. (From my childhood)

-Christmas Eve with my family (always)

-The Dockweiler family singing Christmas carols at my sisters front door.

-A coffee mug of my God child every year.

-Lefse with butter and sugar

-Spending the majority of Christmas Day in pajamas and playing with new toys while watching movies.

-Driving around to look at Christmas lights. (Also did this as a child)

-The Chipmunks Christmas carols. (Again, from my childhood) 

-Elf on the shelf

It will be fun to see what traditions my kids will carry on and what ones they develop on their own. 

If you haven't noticed by now I am quite sentimental :) 

Well, back to knitting!

I pray that your Christmas is a blessed one.  May you find joy in the gift of our Savior and hope for the New Year.

-Caren

Merry Germy Knitty Season

The last few days have been quiet around here.  Plenty of naps, hot drinks, Advil, and finally... Antibiotics have been passed between my daughter and I because of strep.

My view has been mostly from the couch which isn't ideal but it seems being sick is the only time I actually relax and can justify watching episode after episode of Glee. :)

David has been so helpful and I am so thankful for that.  He has picked up on the house work when he comes home from working a full day, makes dinner, gets kids in jammies and teeth brushed, tucks them in and says prayers with them, and makes sure to set out all the things I'll need to help me feel better on the kitchen counter while he's at work.  What a huge blessing that has been.  It's amazing how big of a difference having a 2nd pair of hands makes.

Thankfully my son has been spared thus far and has managed to walk away with just a runny nose.  He has been such a sweet little thing.  He had all of these ideas last night of how he could help us feel better and hot chocolate was at the top of his list.  It was a delicious idea :)

Today is being spent playing catch up now that I no longer have body aches. (May squeeze in a snoozer too)  The only thing that makes it hard to do what I need to do is this stinkin' cold weather and wind.  It's hard to pull a sick kiddo out in this crap so I'll just be doing what I can from home for now.

I still have plenty of Christmas knitting to get done.  I've completed two projects and still have another 6 to make within the next two weeks.  Fingers crossed!

Would it be easier to purchase gifts? Yes. But for me I knit for those I love and there is just something so pleasing in gifting something that took time, thought, and effort.  You can gaurantee that I've spent hours planning what I'm going to make that person, searching for the perfect yarn, and then of course knitting it up stitch by stitch.  It's an act of love for me which is why I do it.  And every year I try to do something a little bit different but of course still yarn made :) Tis the season!

Tis the season for germs, cold weather, winter knitting, and love.  

Hope you all are warm and healthy.  

-C

 

A day of play

I downloaded the blogger app onto my iPhone and thought I'd give it a try. Oh the joys of technology. 

I'm snuggling Saiya right now.  We both skipped out on naptime to run an errand, grab a Starbucks drink, eat lunch, shop, a little, and play a lot.  

Needless to say we are both a little tired but it feels good to just be together without always having to worry about routine and schedule.

It feels good to put off work for a day just to have some much needed fun.  My days home with Saiya will be limited when I start my CNA work, so for now I'm just trying to soak it up while I can.

Soon we will be pausing "The Little Rascals" to pick up brother.  Can't wait to share one of my favorite childhood movies with him when we get home.

I couldn't help but chuckle when one of the kids in the movie said "the kind of man that if he were to fall off a building, that he'd go out of his way to land on a girl". Lol or something close to that. :) 

Snuggles

Blankets

Hot chocolate

Movies

Comfort food

and some peace

Exactly what my soul is needing today.  

Hope your day has been blessed.  

-C

Post Thanksgiving Recovery

I am officially over my turkey and black Friday hangover.
Thanksgiving in my family never disappoints.
I have always felt sad for the people that have looked at holidays as an obligation to spend time with the family.
I know family circumstances vary by the person, which is why I am so thankful that I actually enjoy mine.

I have a family of tradition and I am a total sucker for just that.

 

The ladies of the family :)

We went to my sister's home for thanksgiving dinner which is really more of a lunch than anything, but is so big and filling that it makes up for two meals.

We all contributed with sides and salads so then that way not one person was burdened with the pressure of having to slave away on the entire meal.

The adults gathered in the kitchen to prepare plates for the kids while they ran around.
A prayer was said and we all dug in.

A movie was watched afterwards and as the kids played and snuggled on the couch, us ladies of the family sat down on the floor with the black Friday ads.
We do this every year.
Plan for our shopping adventure and determine what stores we want to hit up first and what items we want to purchase.

We topped the evening off with pie and after chasing the kids around and pinning them down to the floor for some tickling, we headed home.

 

Now I enjoy my black Friday shopping but there is no way that I will go on Thanksgiving day.
I just think it is so wrong for many reasons.
I went one night at midnight a couple years back and I will NEVER do that again.
5 am shopping is fine by me and usually the stores have back stock of some items so we aren't at a complete loss.

I did however convince my husband to go out later Thanksgiving night to get a couple of electronic items for the kids, which I was super appreciative of.

 

Starbucks breakfast mid shop

My sister picked me and my mom up from our homes at 5 am.
I was able to get Christmas shopping done for the kids after visiting 3 stores and was home by 9:45 so David could go in for work. 

Usually I'm out till mid afternoon and visit twice as many stores but this year I was on a time crunch.
I was exhausted and nap time could not come soon enough.
I seriously spent all weekend trying to catch up but "Dexter" on Netflix makes it very difficult to get to bed at a decent hour despite how tired I am.

 

Does anyone else consider Thanksgiving a two day event?
1 day of food. 1 day of shopping.

 

Christmas is right around the corner and I've been preparing for that.

Though I have my shopping out of the way, I still have quite a bit of knitting to get done.

 

Last nights view. Yes that's High School Musical on the t.v. Don't judge me.

I am progressively getting it done and am feeling pretty confident that I will get it all done before I hit too close to the wire.

I do have my decorating done though!

 

 

I've done more than just pictured but it can be tricky taking pictures of all the gold garland and Christmas lights that I have wrapped around the exposed piping in our apartment, and especially with my camera phone.

Stockings hare hung, Santa's cookie plate is out, and our Elf on the Shelf will be arriving tonight.
A little late, I know, but the kids know that Patrick is a very busy elf.

 

Kids did get in on some of the decorating action though.

 

Needless to say, It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here. :)

I'm totally OK with that.

There is just something about Christmas that is magical.
Maybe its the lights strung throughout Conwell park, across from the hospital.
Maybe it's the lights, wreaths, and greetings sprawled throughout downtown and our mall.
Maybe it's family.

Maybe its the music.
I have no doubt that it all plays a huge part...

but there is just something about celebrating the birth of our savior that touches me in a way that I can't quite explain.

 

His birth was the start of our salvation and freedom from condemnation.

It all started with this tiny baby...
As tiny as my own children once were...
"Mary Did You Know?"

is one of my all time favorite Christmas songs for this very reason.
I can't even imagine...

From a Mother's perspective it is quite overwhelming.

God, I am just so thankful.

 

<3

On a less serious note....

I did pass my CNA course!

All that's left to do is schedule my state boards so I become certified.
Technically I could start working now in nursing homes as a nursing assistant and would have 120 days to get licensed, but I'm holding out on work until I become certified. 
The place I'd like to apply at only hires those that are certified and I don't want to settle and work someplace that I really don't want to just for the sake of working.
Not to mention, I'd really like to enjoy my holidays without the pressure of a work schedule.
I'm hoping to get my paperwork turned in with the next paycheck because there is at least $200 that has to be sent in with applications and I'd really like to get my test scheduled.
Kind of hard to throw that out with the holiday season but will be worth it in the long run.

Not to mention that my mom is currently in the same CNA program that I went through and we are hoping to test together. :)

Pretty friggin cool!!!

 

I guess I should tend to the job I do have.
Between potty training my daughter and property management,

I've got my day cut out for me.

I pray your week is a blessed one and that your holiday was spectacular!

 

-C

 

 

 

 



20 Things

I've done this once before and it's been some time, but decided to follow suit of a blogger that I follow and do it again. 
It's always fun to read about other peoples quirks, hangups, and preferences.
I don't know why but it is.
We are all individuals and though some of us have similarities...
We are still all unique.

Here are 20 things about me.

 

1

Aside from the common pet peeve of people who chew their food and gum insanely loud...
I hate the sound of buttering toast.
A snow shovel on cement is a close 2nd.
That sound to me is like nails down a chalk board and it's been that way since I was a little girl.
If your looking for a way to make me crawl out of my skin...
There ya go.

 

2

I don't believe I actually have one favorite color.
I have a tendency to hop and no one in my family can really seem to keep track.
Was blue, then red, then pink, then purple...

Now I'm pretty sure it's teal even though my yarn choices have been gravitating towards pink again. 
Ask me next week and I may have more of a definite answer...
but for now my favorite color is... Rainbow

 

 

3
I've always claimed to love scary movies and I do but at the same time I don't.
Demon possession and violent ghost movies scare the crap out of me and especially when children are involved.
I avoid those at all cost.
I get extreme anxiety around those and I think it's because I'm a mom of 2 and I have a hard time disconnecting from the characters... even if they aren't my children and its fiction.
But what's worse is if its a movie based on the supposed actual, real life, events.
No thank you.
Don't really think I'm a fan of scary movies after all.

4
I'm a sucker for movies like "High School Musical".

I'm pretty sure a part of me stopped maturing past junior high because I love those Disney Channel movies that are clearly aimed towards girls that are 15 yrs younger than me.
Now that Zac Effron is a little older I don't feel so bad for thinking he is cute.  My teenage me and my adult me had a moral conflict so I'm glad that has passed.
Teen drama is usually what I'm drawn to on Netflix,
I seriously don't know what's wrong with me.

 

 

5

I still love the boy group Hanson.
17 years later and MmmBop is still fresh in my head.
Granted they have newer tracks but my heart will always belong to those long haired, roller bladers that had many of us stumped if they were guys or girls when that music video first came out. 
I think it's pretty cool that they are all married and have kids now but still continue to tour.
I dream to see them in concert sometime. :)
I plan on wearing the Hanson shirt that my grandma got me when I was 12.
Yes it still fits.

6

I am incredibly far sighted.
I've had glasses since I was 9 and contacts since I was 12 and seriously can't read anything without them.
I also have astigmatism so even with things held far from my face, I still can't focus on what I'm seeing.
You'll rarely see me in glasses because the lenses are so thick and my eyes look HUGE.
Seriously.
It's comical.

 

7

I suffered from a MS like attack when I was 15 yrs old.
They called it Transverse Myelitis.
It's been described as the prelude to MS but a recurrence is rare.
I'd lost feeling from hip down on my right side and mid ribcage down on my left side.
MRI and spinal tap results showed nothing.
Chiropractic work had to be done to realign my hips and decompress the vertebrates in my lower back due to injury from my inability to properly walk or turn.
I wasn't allowed to sit as part of my treatment. 
Only stand or lay down.
I wasn't allowed to shiver or chill so I had a space heater in the bathroom for when I got out of the shower.

Pretty freaky right?!
Looking back at that now, I can't believe that happened.

 

8
I've only had one broken bone in my life which was my radius, right below my elbow, on my left arm.
I fell while getting off a trampoline to kiss the neighbor boy on the cheek.
Yup.
Wasn't doing anything cool or special.... Just trying to get my clumsy self off of the stupid thing and tumbled right over.
Maybe I should tell people that I beat Chuck Norris at a back flip competition and he retaliated.
That sounds much cooler.

9

I learned how to tie my roller skates before I learned how to tie my shoes.
I went to daycare at a roller rink and have been skating since I was 3 yrs old.
I still often times dream of that roller rink and when I do, I'm usually some awesome skater that is fluttering across the rink, doing triple axles and what not.
I'm not that good but I can at least stay upright.

 

10
I use to sleep with this scrap of fabric that once was a tiny pillow.
I was the only one that could smell this special smell of it and would fall asleep at night with it up to my nose.
My husband had me put it away when I was 21 yrs old.
It's in my sock drawer and every once in a while I'll pull it out to see if it still had that special smell.
It doesn't which is probably a good thing or I'd sneak it into bed at age 28.

11
I have a total of 13 tattoos.
Most of them are easily covered and a couple are too small to really notice.
I've got a vine cross on my foot.
Music note with wings on my right hip.
tiny cross on my left ring finger.
treble cleft on my right wrist.
bass clef on my left.
Sleeping baby bunny with to daisies on the inside of my right forearm
The Scream on my upper left arm and shoulder.
1 Corinthian 13;4-7 in a spiral on my right shoulder.
"K2TOG" in tiny red letters on my right collar bone.
A daisy on the back of my neck.
Psalm 139 on my right shoulder blade.
My son's footprint and name on my left shoulder blade.
My daughter's footprint and name below my son's.
I would very much like to get more but I am very particular...
after all, it's going to be on my body forever so I better make sure that it has meaning and placed properly.

12
I absolutely love Mother's Day.
I think I look forward to do that day more than my birthday.
It's the one day a year that I get to share and celebrate with my mom and sister.
It's a day recognizing the hard work I put into my children day in and day out.
And now that I'm a mom, it is a day when I can show my mom just how thankful I am for the things she did for me when I was little.
It's hard work being a parent and it's definitely something worth celebrating over.

13
Id have Christmas lights hung in my home all year round if I could.
Unfortunately my husband does not find them to be near as magical as I do and I respect the fact that this is his home too enough to take them down after Christmas.

14
I once sang in Carnegie Hall when I was 18 with my High School choir.
The top 7 high school choirs in the US were chosen to learn the same music and meet in NYC for a concert.
One of the coolest experiences of my life.

15
I am quite fond of thrift stores.
I usually go in them when I have something in mind though otherwise I end up purchasing things I really don't need.
I have found beautiful quilts,
a cafe table for our kitchen (actually that was my husbands find),
picture frames for refurbishing and re purposing,
vases,
beautiful Pyrex,
and my favorite pair of sunglasses among other things.

16
 I'll share something a little embarrassing here...
I found out a few months ago that Pickles were actually cucumbers.
I had just assumed that Pickles were a thing of their own because on the container it says "Pickles".
Not pickled cucumbers.
and why would I think to look at the ingredients because, hey, the container says that they are pickles.
And yet so many people have learned this when they were little and some how I missed that tidbit of information.
You could imagine the mind blow I had when I asked my husband about pickle juice and if he thought they juiced pickles to get juice to put in the jar with the pickles.
Not my proudest moment but hey... whatever.

17
Every year on Christmas day my husband and I eat at a truck stop restaurant right off the interstate.
Our first Christmas together was spent there late night after a day of movie watching and spending time with family.
We have made it a tradition and though it does not sound like much of a tradition...
It is for us and one of my favorites.

18
I had braces when I was younger to correct an over bite and straighten out some crowded teeth.
It's been 11 years since I got them off and I still wear my retainers to bed.
Braces aren't cheap and I enjoy my straight teeth so I'll wear them for the rest of my life if I have to.

19
I'm allergic to cats and yet I still own 3 of them.
I just can't touch my eyes after petting them and keep their kitty kisses to a minimum.

20
I've always thought of myself as socially awkward.
I have a hard time socializing with a group of people I do not know and so it takes effort for me to engage.
I think some of that is based off of a fear of rejection or maybe insecurity or something stupid like that.
I look different compared to some of the people I'm surrounded by, don't have fancy clothes, metal shoved in my face, and am usually accompanied by two tiny people that become quite the distraction.
When I start feeling comfortable you may find that I have a dry sense of humor that somehow comes off as witty, have some what inappropriate jokes, and occasionally struggle with volume control.
But I'm genuine and a loyal friend.


Well I did it.
It was actually really hard for me to think of 20 things to share.
you'd expect that it would be super easy to talk about yourself like this but for me it was incredibly time consuming and thought provoking.
If you have a blog and decide to do this...
please comment on this blog with where I can read yours. :)

Hope your week is splendorful so far!

-Caren



 

 

Confessions of an almost CNA

 

 

 

 

I have just one more day in the nursing home and then I will test out of my class.
I can't believe that I started this journey two months ago and its coming to end. 

 

My first two weeks of clinics were spent in Assisted living.
My first night there I spent it in the Memory Care Unit.
All of these people suffer from Alzheimer's.

The group was fairly small which made it easier to spend time with them.
The first hour was spent assisting with dinner, clearing plates, and with one particular resident, checking her pockets to make sure she didn't sneak any silverware.
I observed many in the first few minutes that I was there...
Soaking in what I had been prepared for...
Listened to how the residents talked and how they were responded to....
Processing how I fit into this picture and what I could do within my limits legally...

I learned a lot about my residents in such a short time.

A is in her 70's and believes she has 39 babies. 
While helping her with her shower she had informed me that she had just been to the doctor and was told that she was pregnant.  She just couldn't believe that she was going to have another baby.
It was a battle of our own to actually get her into the shower because she believed that there was soldier standing outside waiting for her to let him in so he could tell her that her two sons had died in war.
We had to solute him before we could go anywhere and so we did.
I want to know more about her.
How many kids does she have?
Did her sons really serve?

Are they alive?
And she talked so much about working.
She took authority in her relationship with her husband as she talked about how he last his job and how she was forced to go back to work full time that day while still having to care for all of those babies...

D is probably one of the sweetest ladies I have ever encountered.
She spends a lot of time in her room, aside from meal time, and any time I came close to her door she was always quick to invite me in.
The first night that I was there she cried so often...
It broke my heart as we got her ready for bed and tucked her in.
She sobbed as we shut her door and from what I was told, that was part of the nightly routine.
When she was brought into the unit her husband had opened the door, shoved her in, and shut the door behind her and they believe that has a lot to do with it.  If she actually remembers that event...  they aren't sure but emotions tend to stick and anytime she feels uncertain, confused, or scared she will cry.
They believe that event is the root of it.

I considered it a victory when I got her to bed my 2nd night in that unit and she didn't cry as I tucked her in.
She couldn't remember the people in the picture frame on her wall but was pretty sure they were people she knew at one point.
One of those pictures was one of her when she was younger and the beauty from back then reflects in her now and I just love her.


M showed me the party dress she made and at one point wore.
That was one proud lady...
and I have to mention that she is 100 yrs old.
This dress was absolutely beautiful.
A fleshy Mauve toned satin, sleeveless, boat neck, above the knee piece of art that was draped in beautiful lace and was embellished with a brown strand of ribbon to secure around the waist.
I saw it a handful of times and every time like it was the first time.
I was just amazed every time.
We sat down for a movie together and she asked me "Finding anything appealing to this movie yet because I sure as hell am not." HA!
Clearly she is a lady that knows what she likes and what she doesn't.

 

S couldn't ever remember which room belonged to her.
After about 15 minutes of redirecting her she finally walked into it and said "This better be my room because THIS is my chair."

Just as soon as she walked out of her room she couldn't remember which one was hers again.

 These people live in their own world and for a lot of them its in a world before even their own children would know them.
Many of them asked where their parents were...
Asked if we could call them...
Asked when their parents would be back...
And we played along...
Imagine what it would have been like to believe that your parents were alive and then you had someone tell you that they were dead.
Pretty sucky right?
So we would tell them that they were out on a date or running errands...
We tried calling them but they were unable to come to the phone but would call back later...
They would be home later on in the evening or the next day...
And they accepted those answers..
And then forget.

We never told them that the people that they saw didn't exist.
We never told them that what they believed they heard wasn't real.
We never told them that they didn't have 39 babies, or that they had no reason to cry, or that they had already shown me their dress.
We never told them that their parents had died along time ago and that they were never coming back.
We took part in their world and instead of trying to convince them out of it... we became a part of it and did all that we could to help them feel secure in it.

This last week I was in the memory care unit at a nursing home.
These people were a lot less self reliant.
Mechanical lifts were used,
Briefs were changed,
wipes were used,
(ok now I've just got to say that changing an adult is far more stinkier than changing a baby and those rooms are not big enough, nor are they ventilated well enough to accommodate the stank.)

showers were given more so than they were assisted,
and at a small table of four women...
they were fed.

Within seconds of walking in, I was seated next to this lady that was wheelchair bound, unable to speak, and unable to feed herself.
It was my responsibility to feed and drink her.
I felt so sad and not because of where this lady was at in her life but because of the few hands that were there to help.
They were so short handed and clearly those who had been working see it as such...
Work.
I spoke to this lady knowing that I wouldn't be able to hold a conversation with her but seeing a nod or a smile was confirmation enough that she was enjoying it.
Occasionally she would start to speak and repeat it over and over and over again.
I finally pulled a CNA over that worked there and asked what she was saying.
She told me that she was counting....
this lady that I was feeding use to be an accountant. 
It made sense. :)

I felt so much more overwhelmed in the nursing home than in assisted living.
My time with the residents seemed so short.
There were so many residents and not enough CNA's.
As soon as we were done with one, we were out and off to get another one ready for bed.

It became more apparent to me that I'm not into this for the medical aspect of it...
I'm into it more for the relational aspect of it.
I want to be there to not only insist in their physical needs but their emotional and mental as well and I did not feel like that was accomplished very well at the nursing home.
Not because I didn't want that but because everything moved so fast and for the CNAs that I was following it was more about getting it done and getting out.
I pray that is not me in a couple of years and that the facility that I end up in is better staffed to allow better care.

I fear of burnout but I am confident that if I'm placed in the right facility, that will not happen.

All the CNAs that I spoke with pretty much said the same thing...
It's hard work and there will be days that feel overwhelming but all it takes is one resident saying something kind to you...

 that lets you know that you're doing something right...

and it's all worth it.

 

So far...
All of this hard work...
It's worth it.

 

Praying you all have a blessed weekend.

 

-C

 

 

When life hands you lemons... kick it in the nuts.

 

I don't know what it has been about this week.
It was one of those weeks where everything was planned back to back and any time I had to just sit and relax was spent on the phone or computer for work.
I've found that even in the time I think I can get a little mid afternoon snoozer in, my mind is racing through the things I should be doing and I can't relax, so I just keep on doing.
Even on the slower days I can't seem to shake the feeling of being overwhelmed, spread thin, and pre-occupied.

 

I spent the night last night watching Benny and Joon and finishing up my sister's birthday present while David and the kids slept.
It was quiet.

It was calm.
It was a much needed break.
I felt my heart rate slow down, the knots in my stomach melt, and my mind focus on something other than the chaos from the week.

Life can be hectic.
Sometimes life can be down right messy.
It can be unpredictable and scary and at times darn near impossible to live...
BUT
It's beautiful.

Somewhere mixed in the craziness are millions of blessings.

Brodey telling me that he plans on naming his kids after each of the Wiggles, when he grows up.
Saiya stopping to tell me she loves me randomly throughout the day.
The pot of coffee that my husband makes for me in the mornings before he leaves for work because he knows I'm going to need it.
Watching the kids play house together as they swing, feed, and care for Saiya's babydolls.
Seeing Brodey's toy hamsters lined up right under the television after I've returned home from dropping him off at school.
Sleeping under my favorite quilts.
My cat LaLa climbing her way under the covers and curling up at the back of my legs.
My cat Jemma curling around my neck.
My cat Steve.... well... I'm sure there's a blessing somewhere with her when she isn't eating and puking up things she shouldn't be eating.. like scotch tape..... and ribbon.
Soft yarn to make endless creations.
Reading books to my kiddos instead of watching tv before bedtime.
Having a live-in knitting partner (ahem.. a man...that I'm married to.  Hell totally must have froze over) to watch a couple of episodes of Bones with at night.
Random text messages from friends that found a funny picture and thought of me to share it with.
Play dates with my sister and nephew, accompanied by coffee for us moms.

Running errands with my mom just for the sake of being together.
Old forgotten movies on Netflix.
Learning new things in the areas that I'm passionate about.
Hugs from residents at my first week of clinicals in Assisted Living.
Text messaging my Grandma. (She's in her 80's and text messages. I think that's pretty badawesome)
Looking around my home and seeing my walls covered in memories and those I love.

How about...
The fact that I have a cozy home that keeps us warm and dry.
The fact that we don't struggle with chronic illness or pain.
The fact that we have food in our bellies every single day.
The fact that we have clothes and shoes that fit and are in great condition.

I sit back and I look at my life compared to others and I really don't have it that bad.
I'm tremendously blessed...

I know the truth.

The truth is that I am one blessed lady.

Finances have been a struggle because of an inner company position change that my husband took and medical bills that we've been working to pay off that just so happened to have payment land in the same week.  And here I am planning on how to play catch up.

My Property Management job had me stressed more than I think I have ever been with it.

 

So many things to do and not enough time to do them.
So many deadlines. 

One of my closest friend's sons started chemo this week in preparation for a bone marrow transplant in hopes to save his life from an autoimmune disease that he's suffered from since he was an infant.
Read her story here: Amandaandthehendersons.blogspot.com
My heart has been heavy.
I've been praying like crazy.
And I (as well as thousands of people) are continuing to hope that he'll come out on the other end healthy and healed.
(my stress really feels like nothing compared to my friend's)

And yet I am still reminded that a grateful heart is a joyful heart.
Even in the times I don't feel like being grateful...
Even in the times when I really don't feel joyful...
I know that no good comes from self-entitlement and being self absorbed in how I think things should be going.

 

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."
Psalm 126:3

 

"Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Jesus Christ."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Give thanks to the Lord for he is good; His faithful love endures forever."
1 Chronicles 16:24

I'm thinking it's time I chill and refocus.
Time to handover to God the things that I can't control, ask him to provide me with the discernment and guidance on the things I can control, and to continuously pray and give him praise.

Be in prayer.
Trust in God.
And
Be thankful.

 

God, I thank you for your faithfulness.
I thank you for your always working hands,

for your never ending patience with me,

and your overflowing love.
I love you.

 

 

 



Finding Caren



My Mom once gave me an embroidered pillow that said

"Dreams have no expiration date"

 

I graduated from high school in 2004 and had every intention on going to college.
By the time it was fall and class registration was happening, I rushed to the college to sign up for classes but there was so much that I didn't do to prepare, that I decided to hold off until the following semester.

And I put it off again.

 

And again.

I got pregnant with my beautiful little boy by the time I was 20 and gave birth to him when I was 21 yrs old.
I worked full time at a call center and through that job I provided health insurance for my family.
The call center closed and I was laid off from my job in 2010 when I was 8 months pregnant with my 2nd child.
My beautiful daughter was born.
We struggled with medical debt after that and so between having two children, an extremely tight budget, and a part time job that eventually occurred, I couldn't justify going to school.

I've spent the last few years of my life raising two beautiful children,
finding my creativity in knitting,
finding my playfulness in hula hooping,
and working part time jobs that have allowed me stay home and invest into my family.
I have been so incredibly blessed and still am.

But I'm in a different place in my life.
I'm in a place in my life where I have realized that there will never be a convenient time in my life for an education and with that frame of mind I've pursued schooling with the help and support of my friends and family.

 

 

I am currently in school to become a Certified Nursing Assistant!

 

 

There are so many different perspectives on this particular job.
I've heard the term "professional butt wiper" a few times and I'm fine with that.
It is what it is but there is so much more to it.

It's care giving to people who are in ways incapable of doing basic, every day things for themselves.
And it's not just assisting in the every day things but It's also encouraging and promoting people to maintain their independence in a time that they may feel their most dependent.
It's supporting an individual in a time of change.
It's about being a persons advocate.
It's about loving that person where they are at in their life and making it as easy and enjoyable as possible.
It's about being their companion and showing them that they are more than just a job but are also a person with value.
Not old.
Not disabled.
Not incapable.
But a person worth caring about.

A person worth my respect.
A person worth my time to help them do the things to maintain a quality of life.

 



It's been said that we have been called to be the hands and feet of Jesus.
To serve.
Even those that seem to be unlovely, unloving, and unlovable.
(Don't we all have that capability? You should see how grumpy I am before my first cup of coffee in the morning.)

 I guess you can say that I've taken that quite literal.
I'll be the legs and feet, and arms and hands for those who struggle to use theirs on a daily basis.
At times I may be their ears and their voice.
I'll be one of the most consistent and supportive persons in their life.
And there are many out there that are and will be the same.

There is such high demand for this profession and unfortunately CNA's are moving on just as fast as they are coming in.
BUT
I'm going to give this my all and I pray that this will be a stepping stone in the medical field for further progression. 

 

So far I've completed 4 weeks of schooling and will be doing my clinicals soon.
We'll be going into an assisted living home, nursing home, and possibly a hospital where we can use the skills we have learned and get some experience under our belts.
I'm hoping to get into the Alzheimer's unit at the nursing home but am still uncertain where I'd like to work.

 

Please be in prayer with me.
Please pray that God's directive is clear in where he wants to place me in this career.
There are so many opportunities and I trust that he will put me exactly where I need to be. 

 

I hope you all are enjoying your week so far!

Be blessed!

 

-C

I Call It Home

My home has been super cozy these days.
Maybe someday I will do a virtual tour.
It isn't anything super special and it's a rental so we are limited in what we can do but for a 3 bedroom, basement apartment, I finally feel like it's a place I can enjoy.
We moved into it just shy of 4 years ago.
At the time our son was 2 and just 2 months after moving in we found out that we were expecting another little baby.

This home has many memories.

Countless naps in cozy beds.
Bringing home our daughter.

Pictures of Brodey posing in his new school clothes and backpack before he heads off to his first day of school.
Family Dance Parties
Countless birthday celebrations.
Holidays.
Dinner with friends.
Coffee with family.
Knit nights.

 

It's a home.
It's our home.

and our home needed change.

I've taken some time to do small home improvements by knitting a few small flag buntings, creating yarn flowers, stringing tassels, and painting old furniture. 
Unfortunately I don't have all of my pictures uploaded of all the things that I have made but I thought I could at least share with you what I do have right now. 

 I'm not a big fan of painting but I decided that this microwave cart needed a splash of teal.
It also needed to be microwaveless and be used for something else.
So I slapped 3 coats of paint on it, waited for what felt like forever for it to dry, and put all of my tasty coffees, teas, and cocoas on it and in it.
I also have my planner on it where I don't just write my appointments but all of the family's.
Though not pictured, there are now curtains on the windows above it.

 

I've been pretty big on flag buntings lately.
These are the two I have hanging in my kitchen.
I also have one hanging between my living room and dining room, bedroom, and office area.
Yeah.
It might be bunting overkill but I'm okay with that.
I plan on making more. HA!

 

Walls have been painted in my home with the help of my hubby,
Furniture has been moved from one room to another and have been re purposed.

Quilts have been thrifted and put on our bed.
Handmade accents hung and placed for personalization.
Pictures have been moved to compliment each room.

A 2nd hand café table was purchased to make our kitchen more of a gathering place.
Curtains have been hung for warmth.
Organization has come into play.... kind of.... here and there...
Toys are now in their rightful spot which would be the kids' bedrooms and not a corner in my living room.
My office area is now a functional place for me to do my work.
And I can honestly say that there is not a room here that I don't enjoy being in.
It just feels good

and
I love it.

It may not be a big home, new home, or a perfect home,

BUT

It's my home and I am so thankful to have it and embrace it because it is a blessing.
I'm just thankful to have one.
A warm one.
A cozy one.
And one to continue to build memories in,

I know that I have not been blogging much and I've come to be okay with that.
It's just where I'm at in life.
My life is busy and at times messy.
It may keep me from writing but you can guarantee that I'll return.
It's just a matter of when.
I hope to get better at keeping up though.

One thing that has been keeping me busy is my CNA course.
I'm so excited to share with you about it and where I envision me going with it but I'll save that for another post.

Time to bed down and enjoy some "Bones".

 

Blessings,

-C

For the sake of sanity

I don't know what it is lately but I have been absolutely obsessed over squirrels.  I've been known to say here and there that I was one in a past life (if I actually believed in that) and if it were true I'm pretty sure the picture is quite accurate. 

I haven't been doing much with Sereknitty and Purls.  It's like I get a wild hair to pick it up and take on orders and write on my blog but then circumstances always seems to get in the way.  Kids... Work... Home... Life...  It can be really hard to balance all of that and it seems the things I enjoy doing the most go on hold at times.  For now I'm ok with that.  For the time being I will not be taking orders and I'll be sure to write when I think of it or find the time.  I'm just at a time in my life where I just want to focus on me. 
I've been faced with this road of self discovery.  Who am I?  Where am I?  Where do I want to be?  What do I want to do?  I'm taking advantage of this to make some life changes.  Some changes will be easy. Some will be difficult.  Some may even be painful BUT I am trusting in God that in the end of it all I will come out happier and healthier than I've ever been.  It's time to take care of me. 

I've been super excited about a new career pursuit!  I've been looking a lot into becoming a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) and will have an opportunity within the next couple of weeks to start that program.  I'll be honest with you and say that I am nervous seeming as how its been years since I've done any kind of schooling or training this heavy but I am determined to do it.  I just keep picturing in my head what this career will look like for me.  I envision companioning the people I care for.  Not just caring for their physical needs but maybe reaching them on a deeper level.  I've even considered bringing knitting into a nursing home if I'm employed at one.  How cool would that be?! I just want to help and care for people and whole heartedly feel as though it is my calling to do just that.  I'm just so excited and I know this will be a great step towards a hopeful nursing career and another way to contribute to the bettering of society. I want to make a difference.

On a lighter note, I've started knitting a sweater... FOR ME.  Knitting is great therapy and Lord knows I need a lot of it.  :)  haha!  I'll be sure to post pictures when I'm done but I'm not sure when that will be.  I'm knitting with size 6 needles and sport weight yarn so if you're a knitter you know it will take some time but it will be well worth it.  It just feels good to knit and not worry about a time frame.  Stitch by stitch I'm working through it.  I tune out the rest of the world and focus on the rhythm of the needles and the softness of the yarn and for that time I feel my most peaceful.

School will be starting soon for Brodey.  Can't really say that I'm ready for that seeming as how we didn't do all that I wanted to or all that they wanted to but I guess that just means we have a lot to pack into the next three weeks.  We've spent quite a bit of time at the library, playing outside, building forts, eating ice cream, and playing house though.  We are hoping to get to a couple of local museums, the swimming pool, and maybe get some fishing in.  And we will definitely be taking a trip out of town to hopefully see my grandmother, go to a build-a-bear workshop, and get some shopping done.  I even plan on hitting up a YARN STORE.  :)  The summer isn't over yet so lets get it done!

Well, domestic duties call.  I hope you all are enjoying your summer and pray you all are well. 

Much love,
-C

My life in knitting

I've had people ask me why I started knitting.
I can't help but to ask "Why not?".

But if you're really looking for an answer I suppose I can give you one.

I've always been big on creative outlets.
I can still think back to being in junior high and staying up till 3 in the morning on the weekends, working on some little craft project, made out of random things found around the house.
picture frames, coffee can lamps, decorating boxes...
I always found something to create or decorate.

In high school I got hooked on making jewelry.
Hobby Lobby was close to our neighborhood and provided me with an excellent selection of memory wire and beads that quickly ate my dairy queen paycheck.
My best friend and I would just hang out and bead in her childhood clubhouse and at one point thought we would actually go into business, but of course our thoughts were just that... thoughts.

I continued making jewelry a couple of years after graduating but life got busy. Life got hectic. Life got crazy and often times the things that I enjoyed ended up in boxes, only to be moved to another location and seldom brought out for me to play with.

Then I became a mom.
I went from being my own, independent self to being responsible for a sweet, perfectly created, little boy.
my time was quickly consumed with motherhood, wifehood, work...  life, and only on rare occasions would I find the time create something.

Brodey was 4 days shy of being two when I had my first knitting lesson.
I had told David about a month prior to that, that I wanted to learn how and I don't even think I knew why I wanted to...
I just wanted to create and if people insisted on asking me if my target scarf purchase was something I made, well then maybe I should make something. 
I can sit back and look at it now and in that time of life I was reinventing me.
I had started my recovery journey, fell madly in love with Jesus, and was finally in a place in my life where I could once again get passionate about something.
I was creating a new identity for me and one that I could be proud of.
I've been knitting for a little over 4 yrs. now and I am STILL learning.
There are still things that I want to make that I haven't...
New techniques I want to learn...
New yarn and fibers to play with and explore...

Knitting has become more than just a craft.
It's more than just a hobby.
It's more than just something to keep me preoccupied.
It is a big part of who I am.
It introduced me to a community of people that not only appreciates hand knitted items but art in general because after all, knitting is fiber art.
They are all just as passionate about knitting as I am and actually understand knit speak.
Some of the best conversations I've ever had have been in a knitting circle and often times I've walked away learning something new or feeling encouraged.
It has given me a way to create anywhere I want!
The car (not while I'm driving), the waiting room, a park, restaurants, intermissions, vacations, meetings, work breaks, nap times, play dates, coffee dates...
You get the picture...

I've been a part of peoples Christmas', family photos, newborn announcements, business', fundraisers, memories...
And what's even cooler is that I've had the honor of teaching people the very thing (but not the only thing) that has brought such purpose into my life, in hopes that it will mean as much to them as it does to me.

Knitting helped me work through the grief of a miscarriage.
Medical scares and uncertainties with my son.
Post traumatic stress after almost losing my daughter to an unexpected complication.

Knitting has been my anti-anxiety,
my stress reliever,
and my most loyal friend.

And now you know why I knit.

Blessings,

-C




Beginners Knitting- You CAN do it



I think of the countless times when I've heard...

"I tried to knit but I just couldn't get the hang of it..."
"I'm not coordinated enough to learn..."
"I use to know how a long time ago but doubt I could do it now..."

 

I'm pretty sure I've heard it all and I'm calling you out and I'm telling you that you CAN do it... that is if you want it bad enough.

I can give you at least 3 reasons why you should learn how to knit.

1.) You get to create and awaken that brain of yours in a whole new way.

2.) Can lower blood pressure, relax you, and ease stress and anxiety.

3.) Can help you quit those bad habits by working as a nice distraction.

So hopefully I have convinced you to go out on a limb and give knitting a try....errrr.. another try, maybe.

So there are a few things to keep in mind while you learn that may ease the stress or anxiety of learning this new art form.

-Everyone is different-
I think it is human nature to compare ourselves to the stranger next to us, a friend, a family member...
But truth be told that everyone is different and learns at different paces and in different ways.
If you don't catch it right away you're not broken, dumb, pathetic, or incapable.
You are human and you are training your brain and your hands to do something new.
Or maybe you are retraining your brain and hands to do something that they once knew how to do.
This isn't a race or a competition either sooooo...
Chill out.

-You will in fact mess up-
You may find that you have some wonky stitches, missing stitches, added stitches, holes, yarn splits and whatever else you can think of.
This is normal.
The best way to remedy this is to rip it out and start over because the best practice you can get is by repeating what you've learned.
It seems the most commonly forgotten thing when you learn how to knit is how to actually cast on stitches onto your needle because that is the first thing that you learned and are so focused on actually knitting your first project, that you have no reason to revisit it.
Messing up is ok and even the most experienced knitters do it and have to start over from time to time.

-Do your best to relax-
Your best results in knitting will come if you are relaxed and breathing.
If you're sitting there all hunched over in your chair, breathing heavily, white knuckling it the entire time, not only is it going to be a stressful experience but you'll more than likely pull your yarn too tight, which will make it more difficult to actually knit your stitches.
That in itself will stress you out and more than likely discourage you.
The best thing you can do at this point is to set your knitting down, grab something to drink, go for a little walk around, maybe do a few hand stretches, and then give it another go. 

-Stick to solid color yarn-
If you are anything like me then you will be drawn to the multicolored yarn and want to make your first project out of the coolest yarn you can find!
This may be possible but to be on the safe side I would suggest going with a bright, solid colored yarn to make your stitches better viewable for knitting.
Something so simple can make your first knitting experience a lot more enjoyable, which is what we want. :)

-Learn on wood or bamboo needles-
I understand that you inherited metal needles, found them at a garage sale, or picked them out because they were affordable... but if you don't HAVE to use them to learn how to knit, DON'T.
When knitting on metal needles you will find them to be much heavier and may find that your stitches are slipping all over the place. 
Not to mention they are insanely long and may be hard to maneuver and work around. 
Wood and bamboo needles tend to be much easier to learn with due to their lightness, grip on your stitches causing a fewer chances of your stitches actually slipping off your needle, and their reasonable length making it easier to knit.

These are just a handful of things that may actually make your first knitting experience a successful one.

Plus it helps to have a good teacher that is patient and willing to show you how to do something however many times you need.
I'm total game for hand holding so if you ever get me as a teacher, you're in good hands.

SO PAY ATTENTION...

I'd like to teach you and for a local reader I'd like to do that for free.
So if you are wanting to learn how to knit and complete your first project with my assistance, here is what you need to do:

1) Live in Casper, WY
2) Like my facebook page, which you can find the button/link for that to the right.
3) Share my blog.
3) Comment why you want to learn how to knit.

I will provide you with a set of knitting needles and a skein of yarn to complete your very first project!

I will announce who on Sunday, April 28th at 5:00pm.

I hope this blog posting has been good motivation to get you started and I am willing to help do just that...
Get your creative knitting juices flowing with confidence...

-C